For Californians of a certain tenure, Silicon Valley is a region – a real, geological valley nestled among two mountain levels and the San Francisco Bay’s marshy southern dregs. The titans of technology – Adobe, Alphabet, Apple, eBay, Facebook, HP, Intel, and Oracle – are all founded in the valley itself.
If the call represents something in any respect, it’s miles a manner of wondering and talking; an attitude expressed through a shared vocabulary: the vocabulary of bullshit. Where Wall Street is capitalism unvarnished, Silicon Valley is capitalism euphemized.
Here is a lexicon of Silicon Valley: a map for tourists to locate their way thru the wilds of billion-dollar lies.
Airbnb (n) – A inn employer that discovered how to avoid the cost of proudly owning hotels or employing resort workers. See unicorn. (v) – To illegally convert a rental into a vacation condo in a metropolis with a less costly housing crisis.
Amazon (n) – A website that went from selling books to promoting without a doubt all items on Earth; it’s additionally a film studio, ebook publisher, essential grocery chain proprietor, hardware producer, and host for most of the internet, to call only some endeavors. Competitors in nearly every industry fear it would possibly. Formerly called “the everything keeps”; soon to be called “the handiest store.”
Angel investor (word) – A wealthy person who invests a small quantity of startup capital at the earliest tiers of an enterprise or idea. Often, the angel is part of the entrepreneur’s extended network, whether due to the fact they went to the equal university, labored collectively at a preceding agency, or are own family pals. Frequently a vocal opponent of affirmative movement. See also meritocracy.
Apology (n) – A public member of the family exercising designed to alternate headlines. In exercise, a promise to maintain doing the equal aspect but hide it better. “People need to pick out what they share explicitly,” said Mark Zuckerberg in a 2007 apology, before promising better privacy controls in a 2010 mea culpa, vowing extra transparency in 2011, and acknowledging “mistakes” inside the Cambridge Analytica scandal. See Facebook, privacy.
Apple (n) – America’s first trillion-dollar corporation has done inordinate fulfillment via groundbreaking products, including the Macintosh, iPod, and iPhone. After it ran out of thoughts for brand spanking new merchandise, Apple maintained its dominance employing arising new ways to pressure its customers to purchase expensive accessories. See dongle.
Synthetic intelligence (ph) – Computers so clever that their behavior is indistinguishable from that of people. Often performed via secretly paying actual human beings to be fake, they’re robots.
Autopilot (n) – The call Tesla gives to its superior motive force help gadget, i.e., souped-up cruise manipulate. Named after the advanced technology that allows pilots to take their palms off the controls of a plane, but very much not an invite for Tesla drivers to take their palms off the wheel, right, Elon?
Horrific actors (ph) – People who use a social media platform so that outcomes in terrible press. However, bad actors commonly benefit from functions of the platform that had been simply susceptible to abuse, however vital to gain scale. “The Russian intelligence operatives who used Facebook’s self-serve advertising device to target US voters with divisive and false messages were ‘bad actors.’”
Biohacking (n) – Applying the DIY hacker ethos to 1’s body to gain better performance. Often includes bizarre eating behavior, fasting, inserting microchips into one’s frame, and taking nootropics (AKA high-priced nutritional supplements). When performed using girls, weight-reduction plan. In intense forms, an ingesting disease.
Bootstrap (v) – To start a company without task capital. The handiest alternative for the huge majority of those who begin corporations, but a factor of pride for the tiny subset of marketers who have to get admission to undertaking capital and eschew it. “My dad is pals with Tim Draper, but I desired to do something by myself, so I’m bootstrapping” – a tech bro.
Cloud, the (n) – Servers. A way to preserve more of your data off your laptop and in the hands of massive tech, where it can be monetized in methods you don’t recognize but may have agreed to whilst you clicked on the Terms of Service — usually positioned in a town or town whose elected officers exchanged tens of tens of millions of bucks in tax breaks for seven complete-time protection guard jobs.
Records (n) – A report of everything you do involve the internet – that is more and more synonymous with everything you do, duration. Corporations use the virtual trails you and hundreds of thousands of others leave to sell you matters – in other phrases, your moves, relationships, and goals have become foreign money. See privateness.